You Can’t Make This Up: Whiskey Laws, Drunk Goats & Dry Distilleries

🥃 The 3 Weirdest Whiskey Laws Still on the Books

(And yes, one of ‘em involves a goat that knew how to party)

🐐 1. No Whiskey for Goats: The Boozy Baa Ban of Alabama

You ever heard of a goat with a taste for hooch?

Back in the good ol’ days, Tuscaloosa, Alabama had itself a minor scandal. Local legend has it, Old Man Rigsby — a known eccentric and proud goat dad — brought his prized billy to the town picnic with a splash of moonshine in a saucer “just to see what’d happen.”

Well, it happened.

The goat got tipsy, knocked over a tray of deviled eggs, and tried to mount the mayor’s dog. True story? Hard to say. But what is on the books is a real law: in Tuscaloosa, you cannot give booze to animals in public parks.

Now, I’m all for a toast to man's best friend — but keep it metaphorical when it comes to actual livestock. Let's leave the drinking to the bipeds, shall we?

🐎 2. Don’t Ride Drunk (Even if It’s a Horse, Not a Honda)

Out in Colorado, you can get a DUI for riding your horse home after a few too many Old Fashioneds.

Sounds absurd until you hear about Charlie “Chug” Henderson — a rancher who once tried riding 600 miles to a cousin’s wedding, bourbon in one hand, reins in the other. He made it halfway before a cop pulled him over outside a gas station, where ol’ Charlie was trying to lasso himself a Slim Jim from the shelf.

Turns out, Colorado’s DUI laws don’t care whether it’s horsepower or actual horse. If it moves and you’re steering, you better be sober.

The moral? Hitch your ride to a sober buddy, not a saddle.

🥃 3. Whiskey’s Home in a Dry County

Here’s a brain-bender: some of the most famous American whiskeys are distilled in places where it’s illegal to buy a bottle.

That’s right — Jack Daniel’s, the pride of Lynchburg, Tennessee, is made in a dry county. You can tour the rickhouses, smell the angels’ share, and see the copper stills... but good luck buying a bottle in town.

They get around it with "souvenir" sales, but make no mistake — the law is real, the irony is thick, and the whiskey? Still smooth.

It’s the equivalent of growing grapes in Napa but banning wine tastings. But it just goes to show: even in the heart of whiskey country, the law sometimes has a strange sense of humor.

🥃 This Week’s Featured Bottle: WhistlePig Old World Rye Aged 12 Years

Let’s give it up for Vermont’s finest: WhistlePig Old World Rye Aged 12 Years.

This 86-proof rye is a masterclass in blending, aged 12 years and finished in a trifecta of wine casks: Madeira (63%), Sauternes (30%), and Port (7%). The result? A symphony of flavors that dance between caramel, vanilla, and winter fruits on the nose, leading to a palate rich with rye spice, apricots, plums, raisins, dates, and honey. The finish? Think dark chocolate, more winter fruit, caramel, and vanilla.

🎯 Click here to grab your bottle while it lasts →

Great in cocktails. Greater on ice. Greatest when sipped after a goat story.

🍸 The Weekly Pour: The Old World Fashioned

This week’s drink is simple, strong, and full of personality. Kinda like our newsletter.

🧪 Ingredients:

• 2 oz WhistlePig Old World Rye Aged 12 Years

• 1 sugar cube

• 2 dashes Angostura bitters

• Few dashes plain water

• Orange slice or zest, and cocktail cherry for garnish

🥄 Directions:

1. Place sugar cube in an old fashioned glass and saturate with bitters, add a few dashes of plain water.

2. Muddle until dissolved.

3. Fill the glass with ice cubes and add whiskey.

4. Stir gently.

5. Garnish with orange slice or zest, and a cocktail cherry.

Raise a toast to dry counties, riding sober, and goats with a reputation.

🧀 Flavor Pairing Picks

What’s a good drink without something to nibble?

• Aged Cheddar Crostini with cracked pepper and a drizzle of honey

• Smoked Brisket Sliders with a tangy barbecue sauce

• Pecan Pie that crumbles just right

These flavors dance with WhistlePig’s rye notes and let that honeyed spice do its thing.

📚 Big Lesson of the Week

Even in the world of aged oak and reverent pours, the law can be...well, weird. From booze-sipping goats to horses with DUIs, whiskey’s legacy isn’t just in the barrel — it’s in the books.

It reminds me: whiskey is about more than flavor. It’s about story. Every bottle has one. And sometimes, so does the goat.

🥂 Final Toast

Here’s to the wild rules, the rebel spirits, and the stories you’ll tell over a second pour. May your bottle be full, your ride be sober, and your goat stay outta the sauce.

🧠 Repeatable Proverb

“The law may write the rules — but whiskey writes the legends.”

🗣️ Let’s Raise the Bar Together

Loved the read?

• ⭐ Save it for your next pour

• 🗣️ Comment below with your weirdest whiskey story

• 📤 Forward it to a friend who knows their goat from their grain

• 📌 Bookmark it for when you're gift shopping

Let’s keep the pour crew growing 🥃

🎁 Win a Copy of My Newest Book

In June, I’m giving away 2 copies of “50 States, 50 Whiskeys Crowning The Top Whiskey State By State” (retail $59.99) — and all you have to do is share the newsletter.

Here’s how to enter:

1. 👉 Click the link below to access your unique referral code

2. 📤 Share it with friends who love whiskey

3. 🎯 Get 3 people to subscribe — and you’re in!

📬 Winners announced at the end of June

👉 Start Referring & Win

Let’s grow the pour crew.

That’s this week in the books (and on the bar). Stay curious. Stay neat.

— Ethan "Neat" Whitmore 🥃

P.S. 👀 Coming Friday: Father’s Day Gift Guide — I’m unveiling the bottles guaranteed to win you “favorite” status with Dad (or at least earn you first dibs on the next pour). And hey, if you’re hoping to get one of these bottles yourself? Just forward this newsletter with a subtle, “Thought this was cool…” and let the hint do the work. 🥃