⛪ The Preacher Who Made His Whiskey in a Church... and Got Away With It

💥 Opening Pour

They called him “Holy Hands” Harper — a preacher by day, bootlegger by night.

When the government outlawed whiskey, Elias didn’t panic. He just moved his still into the church basement. Because who would suspect a man of God?

📖 The Story

Prohibition turned law-abiding folks into outlaws, and Elias Harper wasn’t about to give up his calling. Just… not the one he preached on Sundays.

He built a still under the altar.

By day, he delivered fiery sermons about sin, salvation, and self-control. By night? He was distilling what he called “Heaven’s Heat” — a spicy, high-proof rye that had the whole town whispering. Locals said the sermons got louder the more he tasted.

He even claimed the angels themselves approved. “Why else,” he’d say, “would the Lord bless me with such good yield?”

Eventually, the feds came. But Elias had a choir robe on, a Bible in hand, and a cross around his neck. And wouldn’t you know it — they left empty-handed.

No one ever found the still.

And to this day, when a bottle runs smooth in Kentucky, some say it’s blessed by Harper himself.

🥇 The Weekly Pour

Bottle: Widow Jane 10 Year Bourbon
Price: ~$80
Proof: 91
Age: 10 years

Nose: Cherry wood, vanilla bean, warm spice
Palate: Molasses, orange peel, a touch of minerality
Finish: Long and bold with tobacco and burnt sugar

✅ New York limestone water = unique minerality
✅ Bold character without losing grace
✅ Complex enough to match any Sunday sermon

🛒 Buy it now → Craft Spirit Shop - ~$74.99

🍹The Art of Mixing

Holy Highball

Ingredients

• 2 oz Widow Jane

• 1/2 oz lemon juice

• 1/4 oz honey syrup

• Club soda

• Lemon twist

Instructions

1. Build whiskey, lemon, and honey syrup in a highball glass with ice

2. Top with soda

3. Stir gently and garnish with a twist

Tip: Use real honey, not syrup. Elias would’ve wanted it that way.

🍖 Flavor Pairing Picks

Pair it with:

🍗 Southern-fried chicken with hot honey — The crunch and heat bring out Widow Jane’s smoky sweetness, just like a sermon that starts soft and ends in fire.

🍑 Peach cobbler with a bourbon glaze — Sticky, sweet, and just a little sinful. Perfect for a preacher with a secret.

💨 Arturo Fuente Hemingway Short Story — A cigar worthy of a legend. Starts mild, ends with a righteous punch.

🧠 Big Lesson of the Week

The best hiding spots are where no one’s looking. And sometimes, the smoothest whiskey is born where rules are broken in silence.

🥂 Final Toast

To the spirits that live in oak and the secrets buried in basements. May every bottle come with a story worth sipping.

🥃 Repeatable Proverb

“A good pour may calm your nerves — but a great one might save your soul.”

📖 The Whiskey Journal Is Here

For those of us who believe every bottle tells a story worth writing down.

I finally released The Art of the Pour Official Whiskey Tasting Journal—the same one I use to jot down:

🖋️ Tasting notes, barrel picks, and “finally cracked it open” moments
🗓️ First pours with friends
🧠 Thoughts that hit halfway through a good pour

🎁 And because I love a good surprise, I’m throwing in a free printable Whiskey Tasting Wheel—yep, the one folks keep asking about from past newsletters.

Already a subscriber? You’re first in line.
👉 Get the Journal + Free Whiskey Wheel

Now Its Your Turn

What do you think about this tale from the Prohibition pews? Ever hear one crazier?

• 🗣️ Drop a comment below

• ⭐ Save this story to your favorites

• 📩 Forward it to a friend who’d hide a bottle for you

Cheers to church basements, smooth rye, and the rebel in every one of us,

Ethan “Neat” Whitmore

P.S. Next week? I’m opening the vault on the moonshiner who built a still in a coal mine—and fooled the feds with smoke and mirrors.